just when I thought I could get away they pull me back . . . When the "Best
Of" went up, the email demanding a "worst of " started flooding
in, so, take a deep breath. A really, really deep breath (and know that any email
that begins HOW COULD YOU NOT LIKE will be ignored -- though I'll leave the last
four slots to your nominations. Start with Stigmata...)
dir. Bob Clark
Why is Baby
Geniuses, about genius kidlets whose secret language could bring world domination
to an evil corporation of nasty adults, at the top of the list? Well, alphabetically,
"baby" comes before "blair"
Starring three actors who didn't do enough background work on their characters
as "film students" to be believable in a story that didn't exist until
they made it up on the spot. Or, actually, until the marketing geniuses at Artisan
Entertainment decided to feed the web with stories that this was actual documentary
footage. Critics, desperate to like any horror flick without slice 'n' dice (which
includes myself) flocked like lemmings, en masse over the cliffs of raves. What
makes this not even average grad student crap the most successful movie of all
Directed by Daniel
Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez who are laughing all the way to the bank
dir. John Asher
Give the man a
lifetime achievement Oscar, but not a solo statue for this.
now, stories are starting to surface that, indeed, Stanley Kubrick wasn't finished
with this movie before he died. Had the man not died, EWS would have been
a negligible blip on a grand career. But what he was thinking, we will never know.
dir. David Fincher
So, we are to believe
that men are so emasculated by feminists that they can only prove their self-worth
by beating each other up . . .
Philip Seymour Hoffman
William H. Macy
At least writer/director
Paul Thomas Anderson is still alive, so we can ask him "what
were you thinking???"
And no, fanboys,
we did not reveal a "surprise" ending in our review. Usually surprises
have to be set up, which this one wasn't. Second, the movie studio always
tells us "It's a surprise ending. Don't give it away" which New Line