why Cranky is in pain
Reviews since 1993:   A-E     F-N      O-Z    Posters       Who We Are and Why We Do What We Do         Search the Site

Your Donations support the Site

Top Selling DVD     Books

50 Shades of Grey
Exodus Gods and Kings
Grand Budapest Hotel
Imitation Game, The
Into the Woods

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Theory of Everything
Ride Along
We're the Millers
The Great Gatsby
The Avengers
Amazing Spider-Man
Girl w/ Dragon Tattoo
Dark Knight Trilogy
World War Z
Happy Feet 2
Iton Man 3 combo
Batman Begins
Dark Knight
Fifth Element
The Hangover
Hunger Games
James Bond 11 disc coll.
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Mission Impossible GP
Sherlock Holmes AGOS
Singing in the Rain
Snow White Huntsman
Star Trek Into Darkness combo
Star Wars Saga
21 Jump Street
Ultimate Matrix coll
X-Men First Class
X-Men Trilogy
X-Men Wolverine

 BLU-Ray for Family DVDs 
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
A Bug's Life
Chronicles of Narnia set
Harry Potter 1-8 collection
Iron Man 2 combo
Kung Fu Panda
Lord of the Rings Trilogy Pinocchio
Pirates of Caribbean trilogy
Pixar short films
Shrek the Whole Story
Sleeping Beauty
The Smurfs
Snow White & 7 Dwarfs
Star Trek motion pictures set
Star Trek TNG Season One
Star Wars Saga (1-6)
Toy Story combo
Toy Story 2 combo
Toy Story 3 combo
Wall-E SE


Search engine by FreeFind
Click to add search to YOUR web site!
click to search site

Alice in Wonderland
Beauty and the Beast
Kung Fu Panda
The Lion King
Mary Poppins 45th LE
Princess Mononoke
Shrek the Whole Story
Simpsons Movie
Spider-Man Trilogy
Spirited Away
Star Trek movies set
Star Trek TOS (TV)
ST:TNG complete tv set
Star Wars Trilogy (1-3)
Star Wars Trilogy (4-6)
Toy Story DVD combo
Toy Story 2 DVD combo
Toy Story 3 DVD combo
Wallace and Gromit
Wall-E SE

Buy Movie collectibles
TV/Movie Collectibles

movie review query engine

NY film critics online

Privacy Policy

chow yun-fat

The Replacement Killers

Starring Chow Yun-Fat, Mira Sorvino and Michael Rooker
Written by Ken Sanzel
Directed by Antoine Fuqua
Website www.spe.sony.com

IN SHORT: Looks good. So what?

Which brings us to the look of The Replacement Killers, which introduces Asian action star Chow Yun-Fat to those of us in the West that don't know any better. Cranky likes a good action flick and his eDrive cohort Trent Haaga would "pay to see Mr. Chow smoke a cigarette," so off we went.

Helmed by Antoine Fuqua (director of some "legendary" music video that I've never heard of), The Replacement Killers has the glossy sheen of 20 music vids stapled together, of which only two or three really contribute to the movie. Taken as a whole, it's a lot of emotionless action flash.

John Lee (Chow) is an indentured killer of the Chinese underworld. He kills, or his family will be killed. Goateed cop Stan Zedkov (Michael Rooker) battles the organization Lee works for, and has killed the boss' son. Given orders to take out someone close to Zedkov, Lee bolts. He must save his family. He must crush the Boss. He must find guns that will fire 50 rounds before they need reloading (and Cranky is happy to report that all those Central Casting Western guns that fired up a storm last week in Hard Rain have found gainful employment).

On Lee's side, spitting more attitude and wearing much less clothing is a document forger named Meg Coburn (Mira Sorvino). To be honest, any woman with a great body and a drop dead stare could have done this part, that's how much direction Fuqua has given her, Cranky would guess. Fuqua's direction is aimed solely at non-stop music and almost non-stop gunfire. Here and there are some beautifully staged shots, but when you've only got one story to work with (not a subplot to be found!) you run out of tricks real quick.

Walking out of the room, shoulders drooping under the weight of sitting through a poor action flick, Haaga said, "I'd still pay to see the man smoke a cigarette on screen." Now that's a fan!

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price for The Replacement Killers, he would have paid . . .


If the soundtrack sells, you'll see more of this on MTV than you will on the big screen. Chow's got impressive moves. Now give him a story to work with.

buy movie posters

The Cranky Critic® is a Registered Trademark of, and his website is Copyright © 1995  -  2015   by Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer are Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy Award(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.