cranky home
Reviews since 1993:   A-E     F-N      O-Z    Posters       Who We Are and Why We Do What We Do         Search the Site

Your Donations support the Site

Top Selling DVD     Books

50 Shades of Grey
Exodus Gods and Kings
Grand Budapest Hotel
Imitation Game, The
Into the Woods

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Theory of Everything
Ride Along
We're the Millers
The Great Gatsby
The Avengers
Amazing Spider-Man
Girl w/ Dragon Tattoo
Dark Knight Trilogy
World War Z
Happy Feet 2
Iton Man 3 combo
Batman Begins
Dark Knight
Fifth Element
The Hangover
Hunger Games
James Bond 11 disc coll.
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Mission Impossible GP
Sherlock Holmes AGOS
Singing in the Rain
Snow White Huntsman
Star Trek Into Darkness combo
Star Wars Saga
21 Jump Street
Ultimate Matrix coll
X-Men First Class
X-Men Trilogy
X-Men Wolverine

 BLU-Ray for Family DVDs 
Alice in Wonderland (2010)
A Bug's Life
Chronicles of Narnia set
Harry Potter 1-8 collection
Iron Man 2 combo
Kung Fu Panda
Lord of the Rings Trilogy Pinocchio
Pirates of Caribbean trilogy
Pixar short films
Shrek the Whole Story
Sleeping Beauty
The Smurfs
Snow White & 7 Dwarfs
Star Trek motion pictures set
Star Trek TNG Season One
Star Wars Saga (1-6)
Toy Story combo
Toy Story 2 combo
Toy Story 3 combo
Wall-E SE


Search engine by FreeFind
Click to add search to YOUR web site!
click to search site

Alice in Wonderland
Beauty and the Beast
Kung Fu Panda
The Lion King
Mary Poppins 45th LE
Princess Mononoke
Shrek the Whole Story
Simpsons Movie
Spider-Man Trilogy
Spirited Away
Star Trek movies set
Star Trek TOS (TV)
ST:TNG complete tv set
Star Wars Trilogy (1-3)
Star Wars Trilogy (4-6)
Toy Story DVD combo
Toy Story 2 DVD combo
Toy Story 3 DVD combo
Wallace and Gromit
Wall-E SE

Buy Movie collectibles
TV/Movie Collectibles

movie review query engine

NY film critics online

Privacy Policy

big momma's house poster
click for full sized poster

Big Momma's House

Rated [PG-13]
Starring Martin Lawrence, Nia Long, Paul Giamatti
Screenplay by Darryl Quarles and Don Rhymer
Directed by Raja Gosnell

IN SHORT: for the kidlets.

Here's the gist: undercover Federal Agents Malcolm Turner (Martin Lawrence) and partner John (Paul Giamatti) are hot on the trail of Lester (Terrence Howard), a psychotic, murderous, escaped con bank robber. Lester's on the trail of $2 million in stolen cash the cops believe to be in the possession of the very beautiful ex-girlfriend Sherry (Nia Long), who is scared to death of her old man and on the run with her beautiful little boy (Jascha Washington). Is she in fear of her ex? Is she meeting up to split the cash? Either way, Malcolm and John suspect that Sherry will head for the deep south, where her granny (Ella Mitchell) lives. Granny ain't called "Big Momma" for nothing. Tipping the scales at a svelte 325 pounds this sweet ol' porker vanishes from the story so quickly that Agent Malcolm has only one alternative to keep the case alive. He must don a rubber mask and a couple of hundred pounds of padding, taking on a new identity and kissing any logical story good-bye. . .

Waitasec. Where have I heard this story before. . . ?

From the very beginning of Big Momma's House, with the exception of the secret exploding message and never extinguishing fuse, it is very apparent that what you are watching is not a below the belt comedy about fat transvestites. No, it is Mission: Impossible The Funny One. No lie. Big Momma's House has more in common with television's Mission Impossible than the forgery now wearing the title like a scarlet letter upon it's rubberized skin. Once you see Big momma's opening scene, you'll understand how one big budget monstrosity lives up to its name and how this mini-budgeted wonder is secure enough in its world to be the badass comedy that it is. That world is one populated by teens, 'cuz the flick is a thing only they could love. It is flat out dumb and lowbrow humor at its finest - simply, if you saw the teevee spot and thought "that's the dumbest piece of ---- I've ever seen," then you should avoid Big Momma's House. If you're around 16 and started giggling at the thought of really dumb anatomy jokes, well, hunker down.

Old fart that I am, Cranky admits that he found Big Momma's House to be fairly amusing, but in the sense that it is much better seen on the small screen than the large. Check any conception of reality at the door - in this world, licensed officers don't think twice about breaking and entering and hiding surveillance equipment and telephone taps without benefit of those annoying slips of paper called warrants. The second Martin Lawrence slips on the fat suit, well, by that time you're too deep in to get out or you've already headed for the door. Those that stay get most every fat joke imaginable and, thankfully, none of the classics from films like Mrs. Doubtfire are copped.

What's slipped into the teevee spot is the sexy li'l Martin in the fat suit in bed with Nia in her skimpies. Also in the story is a subplot where Nia falls for the out of drag Martin - and here's the silly part - it's got to be a real pain to do this undercover bit and plotz around in 300 pounds of padding and latex. So why is it that this masculine cop doesn't shave off his mustache? It's got to be a heck of a lot harder to cover that nose hair than to shave, unless there's something about grotesquely overweight women that I haven't learned about yet. Either way, it just strikes me as sloppy and silly conceptualization, which summarizes this bit of fluff perfectly. The only truly clever bit in the movie is that there actually is on oversized actress, the aforementioned Emma Mitchell, playing the real big momma. No fancy camera tricks needed when the pair eventually come together (and God help the skinny person who gets stuck in between . . .)

On average, a first run movie ticket will run you Eight Bucks. Were Cranky able to set his own price to Big Momma's House, he would have paid...


Rental for me. Though I'd need a helluva lot of prodding. Teens can date, which would put it at the $5 level.

Click to buy films by Raja Gosnell
Click to buy films starring Martin Lawrence
Click to buy films starring Nia Long
Click Here!

The Cranky Critic website is Copyright © 1995  -  2017  by Chuck Schwartz. Articles by Paul Fischer are Copyright © 1999 - 2006 Paul Fischer. All images, unless otherwise noted, are property of,©, ®, their respective studios and are used by permission. All Rights Reserved. Not to be used or copied for any commercial purpose. Academy Award(s) and Oscar®(s) are registered trademarks and service marks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.