This Is The End stars Seth Rogen and his whole generation of comic actors -- Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, Craig Robinson, Michael Cera Paul Rudd and Channing Tatum -- all determined to party hearty with weed and booze and all that fun stuff in the LA house of star Jay Franco. Said house is destroyed by a 9.7 earthquake and the unleashing of apocalyptic Demons from Hell that follows. (A Lesson To All Kiddies -- Don't Do Drugs!) Emma Watson and Mindy Kaling pass through this thing, which will delight stoners in their teens and 20s. Yours Cranky gave up the weed a long time ago and, frankly, after sitting through this crap, we may just hang up our reviewing cape. Oh, wait. Can't do that. Superman is coming . . .

Given that circumcision is pretty much the norm in this country, parents with little kids should be prepared to answer the question "What's wrong with baby Superman's pee-pee?" with an appropriate "Nothing's wrong. He's an alien, silly." and that should be that. That the film includes baby nudity strikes me as insane and absolutely lacking of any sense for what hopes to be the family film of the year.

Have no doubt, readers, this is a serious, serious Superman movie -- it is also impervious to criticism at all. That written, this fanboy spent nearly two-thirds of the 143 minutes of Man of Steel in spasm, my back ripping itself to shreds while I waited for the iconic "Kents finding the baby" scene et al. Not there. That wasn't all that was missing from the film but I wanted to be sure that my ongoing medical crap wasn't unduly influencing the negative feelings I had, walking out of the press screening.. (It wasn't all negative. There were  happy happy feelings when Lana Lang and Pete Ross made cameo appearance, which will make Superboy comic book fans happy campers. and a cleverly concealed shout out to the late Whitney Ellsworth and, every once in a while, a wee bit of lightness to offset the neverending, mind-grinding seriousness of the film's script. 

I watched Man of Steel a second time at the Midnight sneak, just to make sure my gut reaction -- it is a dull movie -- wasn't wrong. Nope.

We will report that Kal-El isn't the only Kryptonian to survive the destruction of said planet. How, exactly, that happened is one of the things that was lost to spasm, and the basis for the movies that follow -- heck, just 'cuz a trilogy isn't announced doesn't make it so. The new Superman Universe doesn't yet include kryptonite or Lex Luthor, so just hold your horses.The story told -- Superman versus other surviving Kryptonians for control (sic) of the planet -- makes sense. It just doesn't exite or thrill or move you to the edge of your seat. Not that anyone will believe us until they've spent 143 minutes in the dark. Then you can say we told you so. Cranky's movie review

Fanboys angry that we burned the wrong Shields on to downloadable wallpaper images of Zod and Faora, etc., should blame the movie studio for not having a set of 'em available for us to use. Said studio needs a fanboy on staff.  Everyone else, don't worry about it.

The Purge wasn't offered to us to see . . . which is probably a good thing since we're getting old and feeble and cardiac problems run in the family.

After Earth stars Jaden Smith and his dad, Will in a SF drama set on an abandoned earth a couple of thousand years in the future. It's terrible. The first bomb of the season.

Four top of the line illusionists team up as, essentially, a team of Robin Hoods in Now You See Me, a frenetic mishmash by five writers which actually holds together. If you can, ignore the constantly moving camera (which made us sick). Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher, Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine are the stars. The stunts are all explained and the overall mess is a quick, painless dateflick.

If  you can find it on a big screen, film-maker wannabees  -- and stoners, for that matter -- will want to find The History of Future Folk. It is a perfectly example of what can be done with no Name Stars in the cast and a budget of approximately $35. The leads, including a Kevin Smith look alike (which speaks volumes if you know who Smith is), play alien invaders who literally wear buckets on their heads. Earth is saved by the power of the bluegrass form of music in one of the goofiest and remarkably enjoyable no budget flicks of the year. It's not worth a fifteen dollar ticket to elders like Cranky but those who still party hearty, and you know what we mean, will dig it.  More info on the film's website

Cars. Explosions. Fast and Furious 6. what else needs saying?

For those that prefer serious art house type of films there is Before Midnight, in which Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy continue the relationship that has art house fans all gooey.

"A teenager finds herself transported to a deep forest setting where a battle between the forces of good and the forces of evil is taking place. She bands together with a rag-tag group characters in order to save their world -- and ours" says the IMDB about Epic. We weren't overly impressed by this family friendly action flick.