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CRANKY SEZ:  My neck has been broken three times. First, in a traffic accident in 1988. Then again in 1989 and 1990 for medical reasons. After 25 relatively peaceful years, side-effects from long forgotten surgeries have reasserted themselves. My ability to sit up to watch a two or three hours long film is gone. Obviously this medical situation has to be dealt with. When we can sit through an entire movie screening we will write a review.

There are a whole lot of other films released this week, in addition to a couple of Oscar wannabees that hit in the last fortnight. Cranky's right leg has, pretty much, stopped working. At least, working well enough to walk a couple of New York city blocks and get up and down subway stairs. The spinal cord damage disabling our leg also takes its toll on our ability to sit in a movie theater seat for two hours at a time. Imagine, then, a day with four films to see and you understand our problem at this time of year.

We are playing catch-up as best as we can.

Before the Flood

So, y'know how scientists have been babbling about global warming and the End of Days? All the stuff you've been ignoring? Actor Leonardo DiCaprio and director Fisher Stevens team to look at what happens Before the Flood. Adults who don't mind the occasional documentary in their life will either agree with the concepts in the film or find new things to deny. Cranky's movie review

whole truth

The Whole Truth (ltd) stars Keanu Reeves as a defense lawyer whose client (Gabriel Basso) is accused of murdering his father (Jim Belushi). A BIG SURPRISE!!! ending is ruined by editing that only serves to confuse the story.

Something ate our review . . . we hate Windows10 . . . so take our word for it and wait to rent.

american pastoral

American Pastoral is actor Ewan McGregor's move to the director's chair. His character is Jewish. Wife Jennifer Connelly is Catholic and daughter Dakota Fanning joins the radical Black Panthers in a film based on Philip Roth's novel about Jewish assimilation and the destruction of an American family by the 1960s. Unfortunately, the film's story is way too complicated to make sense -- especially when the creators have no understanding of the horrifying concept of assimilation (and you'd have to be Jewish to understand) that drive the story. Cranky says "pass".

Girl on a Train

The Girl on a Train stars Emily Blunt, Hayley Bennett, Rebecca Ferguson, Justin Theroux and Luke Evan. Think of it as a murder mystery-thriller based on a menage a trois with an extra player or two. The main witness? An alcoholic prone to booze induced blackouts. Blame director Tate Taylor for building his film with so many flashbacks that it becomes almost impossible to follow the story. Cranky says "pass".

The Accountant

The Accountant, which was Number One last week will hold the Number One Ranking this week, too.. If our disabilities would have allowed it, we would have seen a Director's screening last week. They didn't and, with about a dozen films releasing this week, we saw what we could of the new stuff. We'll grab a review screening in November when the studio starts pushing Oscar wannabee stuff.


Ouija: Origin of Evil is a scareflick based on the mystical board game that alleges it allows you to communicate with the dead. When a studio does its "come and get it" screening -- for those of us who don't sit to interview its stars-- up against another major release with real, brand-name stars in it, the film is probably a stinker. Surprise! The bulk of reviews on Rotten Tomatoes are positive. As opposed to ...

Jack Reacher Never Go Home

Jack Reacher Never Go Home stars Tom Cruise in a sequel to a film Paramount didn't ask us to see. Paramount hasn't asked most online reviewers to look at their films for the past two years -- though they'll trip over themselves to make sure we watch their Oscar wannabees. We're happy to oblige. Critics who did the see the film have been overwhelmingly negative.

Keeping Up With The Joneses

Keeping Up With The Joneses stars Zach Galifianakis, Isla Fisher, Jon Hamm and Gal Gadot We see it next Wednesday, just before a screening of . . .

Boo! A Madea Halloween

Boo! A Madea Halloween was, like all the other Madea movies, apparently there are eight of them, not screened for this paleface. It is being shown to creator Tyler Perry's fellow directors -- that would include us -- next Wednesday. So, if our disabilities allow it, there will be a review next week.


Priceless pits a down and out widower against a Texas based pimp. In the middle are two Mexican girls, probably illegal, definitely sold into the trade against their will and transported by our hero to their doom. It is a very slow paced film, not at all a "Faith Based" film, as it is being pitched. Wait to Rent.

Have we mentioned that politicians are trying to outlaw the painkiller which has kept us alive since 1998? The glut of Oxycodone (aka Percocet) prescriptions is not just because users are getting high from the stuff.-- although we never have. We live in pain 24/7. That's what the pills are for -- It is because all the cokeheads of the 1980s now have careers and families and assets they couldn't afford to lose if they got busted with powder. So, the cokeheads moved to pills. After all, no one thinks twice if an aging person takes a pain pill. We know it is true because we've had to cut off our ex-cokehead friends, all of whom would sidle up to us and say : "You couldn't possibly need all that Percocet; good friend good buddy good pal. My migraine headache is just killing me. You can spare half a dozen pills, right?" We swear on a bible that that junkie-like bit if begging is true. Those friends are no longer friends.

The Cranky Critic, since 1993 . . .           To Be Continued . . .

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie -- Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice -- Point Break -- Max -- The 33 -- The Legend of Tarzan -- Central Intelligence -- Star Wars: The Force Awakens -- The Good Dinosaur (Disney) -- The Walking Dead --Cooties -- Star Wars Episode 7 (#2) -- Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice -- In the Heart of the Sea -- Winter Sleep -- Do You Believe? -- Woman in Gold -- '71 -- Predestination -- Unbroken -- White Rabbit -- Black or White -- Space Station 76 --Frontera -- What If -- Catch Hell -- Land Ho! -- 4 Minute Mile -- The Prince -- Hercules -- Cantinflas -- The Longest Week -- Ouija --

War Story -- Hide Your Smiling Faces -- Perfect Sisters -- A Night in Old Mexico -- Gold Frapp Tales of Us -- Palo Alto -- Only Lovers Left Alive -- Stage Fright -- Moms Night Out -- Alien Abduction -- Ant Boy -- The Duke of Burgundy -- Fractured -- S -- The Drop -- Liars All -- Bad Words -- 10 Rules for Sleeping Around --13 Sins -- 50 to 1 -- Cheap Thrill -- Odd Thomas -- Sparks -- Best Man Down -- Best Night Ever -- Beyond Outrage -- Need for Speed -- Loitering with Intent -- Witching Bitching -- Spanish Lake -- The Signal -- Home --+


Rage -- The Trip to Italy -- The Congress -- Goodbye World -- The Olivia Experiment -- Frontera -- If I Stay -- Step Up: All In -- School Dance -- The Kill Team -- The Sacrament -- Wish I Was Here -- Big Bad Wolves -- The Pretty One -- Cheap Thrills -- Kids For Cash -- Open Grave -- Brightest Star -- 22 -- Walking With the Enemy -- The Protector 2 -- Hercules -- Mistaken for Strangers -- Leave the World Behind -- Earth to Echo -- Finding Vivian Maier -- Edge of Tomorrow -- Jupiter Ascending -- Goodbye World -- Ida -- Beneath the Harvest Sky -- Home -- Borgman -- Wolf Creek 2 -- Rob the Mob -- Persecuted -- Rowdy -- Poseidon Rex -- Walk of Shame -- We are the Best -- No God No Master -- Begin Again -- Obvious Child -- Words and Pictures -- Alive Inside

Help yourself to lots of images from . . .

The Peanuts Movie
Fantastic Four
Inside Out
Mad Max Fury Road
Frozen: Fever
Guardians of the Galaxy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Batman vs Superman
X-Men: Days of Future Past
Amazing Spider-Man 2
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Avengers
Beauty and the Beast
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Captain America: First Avenger
Cars 2
Conan the Barbarian
Despicable Me 2
Exodus: Gods and Kings

Star Wars Episode 7: The Force Awakens
Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies
How to Train Your Dragon 2
Kung Fu Panda 2
The Lion King
Man of Steel (Superman)
Red Riding Hood
Rio 2
The Smurfs
Sherlock Holmes

Transformers 3
Winnie the Pooh
The Wolverine


Dallas Buyer's Club -- Last Vegas -- Rush -- Cloudy with Chance of Meatballs 2 -- Jackass: Bad Grandpa -- All is Lost -- Best Man Holiday -- Ender's Game -- Dark Knight Rises -- Less -- Ted -- Amazing Spider-Man -- Prometheus --- Madagascar 3 -- Men in Black 3 -- Magic Mike -- Snow White Huntsman --The Avengers -- Amazing Spider-Man -- The Artist -- Three Stooges -- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -- The Muppets -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close -- Alvin + Chipmunks Chipwrecked -- War Horse -- We Bought a Zoo -- Fast Five-- Bridesmaids (unrated) -- Michael Flatley Lord of the Dance -- Thor -- X-Men First Class -- Rio -- Rango -- Unstoppable -- For Colored Girls -- Life As We Know It -- Red -- The American -- The A-Team -- Avatar -- Dinner for Schmucks -- Machete -- Zombieland

Dallas Buyer's Club -- Last Vegas -- Rush -- Cloudy with Chance of Meatballs 2 -- Jackass: Bad Grandpa -- All is Lost -- Best Man Holiday -- Ender's Game -- Ted -- Les Miserables -- Prometheus -- Madagascar 3 -- Men in Black 3 -- Magic Mike -- Titanic -- Jaws -- Star Wars IV-VI -- Twilight Saga: New Moon -- James Bond collection -- Snow White Huntsman -- The Avengers -- Amazing Spider-Man -- Singing in the Rain -- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo -- Casablanca 70th anniv -- South Park season 15 -- The Descendants -- Adventures of Tin Tin -- My Week With Marilyn -- Melancholia -- The Muppets -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- Alvin + Chipmunks Chipwrecked -- Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt 1 SE -- Super 8 -- X-Men First Class -- Big Lebowski -- Star Wars Saga I-VI -- Sucker Punch -- Lord of the Rings Trilogy -- Super -- Unstoppable -- Red -- The American -- The A-Team -- Legacy -- Legendary -- Machete -- Wall Street Money Never Sleeps -- Toy Story 3 -- Kick-Ass

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Flight -- Perks of Being A Wallflower -- Zero Dark Thirty -- Wreck-It Ralph -- End of Watch -- The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo -- Hop -- Footloose (2011) -- Hugo -- Tower Heist -- Jack and Jill -- Tower Heist -- The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 -- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy -- The Three Musketeers (2011) --My Week With Marilyn -- Abduction -- Contraband -- The Iron Lady -- Angels & Demons -- Joyful Noise -- The Rum Diary -- The Bodyguard -- Moneyball --   Cowboys & Aliens --Insidious -- Red Riding Hood -- True Grit -- Academy Award winning films -- Avatar -- Batman Begins -- Blade Runner -- Clash of the Titans -- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon -- The Hangover -- Harry Potter 1-6 box set -- Harry Potter Half-Blood Prince -- He's Just Not That Into You -- How to Train Your Dragon -- Incredible HULK -- The Hurt Locker -- Ice Age 1 & 2 set -- Indiana Jones trilogy -- Indy/ Crystal Skull -- Inglorious Basterds -- Iron Man -- Iron Man 2 -- Ultimate James Bond v1 -- Ultimate James Bond DVD v2 -- Ultimate James Bond   v3 -- Ultimate James Bond DVD v4 -- Juno -- Jurassic Park box set -- Karate Kid -- Kick Ass -- Lawrence of Arabia -- The Last Airbender -- Night at Museum -- 9 -- Paranormal Activity -- Passion of the Christ -- Ratatouille-- Resident Evil Afterlife -- The Runaways -- Scott Pilgrim -- Sherlock Holmes -- Shrek 1-3 trilogy -- Sin City -- Simpsons Movie -- Slumdog Millionaire -- Spider-Man Trilogy -- Star Trek I - VI box set -- Star Trek 2010 (1 disk) -- Star Wars Trilogy (1-3) -- Star Wars Trilogy (4-6) -- Terminator Salvation -- The Town -- Toy Story 3 -- Twilight -- Twilight: New Moon -- Twilight Saga Eclipse -- Twilight Breaking Dawn pt. 1 -- -- Up -- Wall-E -- Wall Street Money Never Sleeps -- Who is Harry Nilsson? -- Woodstock 49th anniv -- The Wrestler -- X-Men Trilogy -- X-Men Origins: Wolverine -- X-Men Trilogy

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The Artist -- Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol -- Spawn -- The Hunger Games -- Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows -- JAWS -- 21 Jump Street -- Singing in the Rain 60th Anniv) -- The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo, Happy Feet Two, Footloose (2011), Tower Heist, Angels and Demons, The Rum Diary, Abduction, The Bodyguard, Moneyball, Captain America, Thor Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, The Adventures of Tintin, Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI) -- Lord of the Rings Extended Edition -- The Matrix box set -- Men in Black -- Alice in Wonderland (2010) -- Avatar -- Batman Begins -- The Dark Knight -- Blade Runner -- The Bourne Trilogy set -- Braveheart -- Breakfast Club -- Chronicles of Narnia -- Clash of the Titans -- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon -- Fifth Element -- Forrest Gump -- Ghostbusters -- Ghost Rider-- Gladiator -- Goodfellas -- The Hangover -- The Hurt Locker -- Inglorious Basterds-- Hellboy -- Harry Potter years 1-6 -- HP: Order of Phoenix -- Harry Potter: Half-Blood Prince -- Iron Man -- Iron Man 2 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v1 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v2 -- James Bond Ultimate ed v3 -- Julie & Julia -- Juno -- Kill Bill 1 & 2 -- Kung Fu Panda -- Live Free or Die Hard -- Michael Jackson This is It --   Ocean's 11 12 13 set -- Passion of the Christ --  Pirates: Dead Man's Chest -- Pirates: At World's End -- Rambo box set -- Sherlock Holmes -- Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows -- Shine a Light (Stones Live) -- Silence of the Lambs -- Sleeping Beauty -- Spider-Man Trilogy HD -- Star Trek films set -- Star Trek (2009) -- Star Wars box (1-3) -- Star Wars box (4-6) -- Superman Batman Apocalypse -- Terminator -- Terminator 2 -- Terminator Salvation -- Top Gun -- Total Recall -- Transformers SE -- Twilight -- Twilight: New Moon -- Twilight: Eclipse -- Twilight Breaking Dawn pt. 1 -- Up -- Wall-E -- Watchmen -- Wizard of Oz -- Wonder Woman -- Woodstock 40th anniv -- The Wrestler -- Wolverine -- X-Men Trilogy
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